Kecewa

i admit this few days i really nt in a good mood...
i feeling like lost everything in my life...
feeling i cant tahan le...

jz left few weeks...
PKB this 3 WORDS keep appear in my mind
all the thing is under control?? really??
under progress?? really??
i really dunno...
bt wat i can do is jz focus 4 this few months....
do the best 4 PKB...
because of the commitment tat u all gv... i noe PKB can success de!!!
although the progress is hard n tough... bt i believe sure can make it de...

kecewa.... really really feel kecewa from my heart...
for this moment... i really cant accept it...
y some ppl can do the things...
bt some jz ignore it le...
responsibility mayb jz as rubbish 4 some1...
i can admit i really feel nt comfortable n bu shuang with some ppl attitude n the way of doing things...
hello...
nt jz u guys bz only...
n please dun say bz in front of me...
i much more bz compare with u guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the worse is i gt such friends also....
make me really cant tahan le... keep it 4 few days le...bt no point to speak out also...
jz hope u guys can gt to noe this feeling one day also...
nt easy to be a leader... too many things need 2 care n do...
COMMITMENT... such important!!!!!!!
if u noe u cant gv commitment... y u wan to join leh???
becuz of friends?? or becuz of ppl beg??
bt pls remember when join sth, plz gv commitment!!!!!!!!!!!!
n dun always gv excuse!!!!! n dun say urself bz.......

i will try my best to do watever i ady promised...
my time table really pack like sandin...
nt even gt time to sleep...
early in the morning need to do n check wat haven finish...
gt the advertisement from restaurant to restaurant...
rush here n there...
out for donation drive...
go 4 charity...
bt i still will support the activity tat i join...
although i such tired n bz...becuz this is the promise between us...
n my responsibility also...

i nt tat kind who like to force ppl to do whatever tat dun like....
SO JIU SUAN LE BA...
no1 can always follow my step...
bt at least noe what u r doing...

i admit i wont trust ppl anymore...
is uni life teach me be more cruel...
dun ask me y after seeing this...
i wont tell a word also...
jz be myself lo...
n u all continue be urself...
enjoy ur time lo...
i nt dun wan...is nt willing...
so dun try to ask me n advice me ya...
no point at this moment...bt when it will be ok??
i also dunno lo...

sorry lo...jy...
i really really wan bac to my room....
bt dun worry...although i bz...bt i still will care abt u de...
always remember....
u still gt me....

真得那么难吗？？

2010年了。。。
回头看看2009年所做过的事，所发生的事。。。
都已经是过去了。。。
本来想在踏入2010年时就写blog...
可是太累了。。。

我承认我已经变了。。。
不再在意一些事了。。。
也许真的发生很多事。。。也让我长大了。。
不会为了一些事哭了。。。
也不会伤心了。。。
友情对我而言。。。还是不可以缺少的。。。
可是观点不同了。。。
也许说是我看透了。。。
也学会遇到什么事情都不跟别人说了。。。都收给自己了。。
也许有人问起的时候才会说吧。。。也许等到承受不了才爆发吧。。。。
是好还是坏呢？？
我也不懂。。。

我只想做个普通人。。。
有这么难吗？？
我只想开心地过每一天。。。
有这么难吗？？

没有人会明白的压力。。。
令我变得比较冷漠了。。。也令我不想理别人的事。。。
活动过后。。。我也许会失去友情。。。
睡前都要想想还有什么事还没有做完。。。根本睡不着。。。
因为太多事还没做。。。
剩余的钱要怎样找。。。每天都想。。。

投降了。。。
太累了。。。
我可以到一个没有人认识我的地方吗？？
让我好好透透气。。。
只要一下下就好了。。。

不能回头了。。。也不能重来了。。
就只有往前走。。。
走到尽头时才打算吧。。。

如果我真的变得怪怪时，要记得提醒我咯。。。
谢谢身边的所有人。。。支持的。。。还是不支持的。。
都谢谢了。。。
你们让我有机会学习。。。

.......feeling.......

start new sem le....
really really sienzz lo...
is becuz i too lazy lo...this i admit lo....
i lazy or can say scare to face whatever i wan to do n handle lo...

bt i still enjoy my starting day of new sem lo...
is becuz of u guys...my beloved coursemate...
jz gt plan wan skip class...
bt finally v really skip de class n go SING K!!!!
wahhhhh...........
wat i told myself b4...say wan study n stop playing... all jz bullshit lo...
hahaha..... i really really lazy to see de documents...
n waste whole day in watching drama...wat is my life in new sem...
n wat happen to me ya???

but.... this kind of thing really will end up soon...
after countdown???
or even b4 countdown lo....
bz life start le....
keep answer call n call ppl...
keep gt advertisement...
JIA YOU BA....

To ppl who no time entertainment me....
i din ask 4 entertainment me lo... n i no need also lo...
if i need entertainment,i will find myself also...
i also no time at all....mayb more bz....
bt remember wat ady said lo....
so jiu let it be ba....
mayb i really no time n energy to k anymore...
dun wan to noe wat is going on...n dun wan to do anything also
wan angry or bu shuang anything...also up to urs le...
cuz i din do anything wrong...
bt this is seem like a normal thing....
so jiu forget it lo...ady sienzz with all this things le...
n dun understand why....so jiu no need to noe n ask le...
wan find jiu find...
dun wan jiu suan le...

countdown!!!!!!!
still thinking wan bac to home or wan stay at uni....
bt PKB things sure cant finish de...
so how leh??
OMG....
please help me n save me ba.....
waiting n waiting....

吸引我的一些短文。。。。

友谊永固。。。
总觉得，人世间的东西，使我们无法预料的。。
尤其是离别，更是来得忽然，让人措手不及，让人不舍，让人不自觉地想哭。。。
虽然有距离，但，我们还会保持联络的。。。相信吗？？
有人认为大家永远都是朋友，感情不会变淡。。。哈哈。。。一个很正面思想。。。心里也笑了。。。
不知道为什么会对彼此的友谊动摇？？是不够真心，还是不够真诚呢？？
一段真挚的友谊，是要经得起考验的。。时间，只是证明我们的基础打得好而已。。。。

生命中总有些暗。。。掺着灰色。。。
但还是要对明天抱着希望。。。
才会点燃新生命中的灯火。。。

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“时间，只是证明我们的基础打得好而已。。。。”
喜欢这一句咯。。。
对。。。真得很对。。。
不是说时间长了。。。友谊就会好点。。。
时间只是让大家把友谊的基础打稳点而已。。。

与不同的朋友。。会有不同的感觉。。。因为我们打的基础都不同。。。
有些可以不见面。。。却还不会生疏。。。
有些就会了。。。
是因为基础打不稳吗？？
还是没有真心和真诚的存在？？

对对错错。。。没有人想要知道的。。。
因为事实是残忍的。。。
每个人都有自己的原则。。。和执著。。。也许我的比较严重（这个是你告诉我的）
但。。。
都算了。。。

出街出得很凶。。。连续好几天了。。。
都是凌晨三四点才回家。。
就快连家门也不能进了。。。
哈哈。。。
答应爸妈的事。。。好像一直都还没办到。。。
几时的我才会做乖乖女呢？？
朋友都说我已经是被黑名单了。。。
我才要说。。是谁不要载我回家呢？？

收起心情了。。。
要为活动冲刺了。。。
也要为学业打拼了。。。
真得很不想回去。。。
不想面对要做的一切。。。
一推推的东西。。。像山一样高。。。
不想还是要做。。。
因为。。。
责任。。。

生日惊喜。。。好像没有。。。可是那天的我们。。。是开心的。。。
你说我们已经四五个月没见了。。。
时间真快。。。忙忙碌碌的我们。。。还是见了。。。爽！！！

萤火虫。。。漂亮。。。哈哈。。。
家里的party...一定要到。。。
不然。。。真的会无家可归了。。。
最后。。。上云顶咯。。。（因为我想要去赌场）。。。算是2009年的最后想做的事。。。

sai事连篇。。。
我想吃你们所说的好吃炒馃条。。。
竟然没有开！！！衰！！
去oldtown...也是衰。。。
没有早餐咯。。。
老爸。。。是你dai sai 的。。。不要不认啦。。。
事实是残酷的。。。我懂你不要接受。。。哈哈。。。
不要一直说我dai sai...根本不是我。。。

2010年。。。
等着。。。期待着。。。倒数着。。。也害怕着。。。

*人老了。。。出了几天。。。整身都痛。。。
没有以前这么可以玩了。。。
也不能熬夜了。。。
真的很很很累。。。
还剩两个多月。。。
我能熬过去吗？？
会崩溃吗？？
会失常吗？？
会怎样？？
也在倒数着。。。等待着。。。期待着。。。害怕着。。。

Isn't will until like this???

whole sem break...i jz busy with my things...
busy faxing proposal to each company...
busy pick up call...
busy here and there....

beginning of the holiday...i really really sienz with outing....
dunno y...i jz wan stay at home ALONE!!!!!
i jz wan to do my own thing...
n i almost every day will "busy" with my cafe world,farmville and happy farm...
busy steal ppl de things.....

SUDDENLY...I STOP EVERYTHING....
is because of wat...please dun ask me...i really cant answer it...
is too many reasons le or dun hv any reason...i also dunno...
i jz wan STOP....

LOOK OUT POINT...nice place...happy with u all...
tat night...i gt bac all my feeling...is friend feeling...
lost long time le...
finally..PAH HUI SHAN gt bac le...
whole gang of us...gt 14 of us...keep chit chat...playing...take photo...
i cant remember how long i din meet u all le...
bt v still gt topics...
love u guys...my f6 gang....

GANG...i afraid of this word..really...bt becuz of u all....i believe i still will stay in the gang de....ya right,my f6 friends...
yippe 4 our friendship ba...

chat with u whole afternoon...
really feel comfortable...
u tell me 人合人。。。如果合不来。。。就不要勉强了。。。
ya...really....cant make ppl follow my step....
so jiu dun care lo...
i jz wan be myself..tat all...
Think alot...mayb i really still cant put down my 原则。。。

start new sem... jz wan focus on PKB...
n jz wan STUDY...
other things,guys sorry le...i dun wan care le....
gt time jiu go play play...sing sing k...
dun hv time jiu makan sendiri...
this wat i promise to my mum...
gt a good result in next sem....
dun wan make her kecewa le...
mayb i really too care le...over wat should FRIEND BE...

everything change...lost topics le...
no topics also...
n i dun wan find topics also...

jz wan enjoy my break be4 start new sem...
ermm,go genting with u guys....
celebrate xmas eve also...
go party on xmas too....
outing with family...
den bac to my unlike place....university...
i really dun wan bac lo...
feeling like many things din do...
many things need 2 face lo...

change...starting,i jz wan stay at home alone...
now!!!
i wan outing...jz wan enjoy the outing with friends...
all the cafe world, farmville and happy farm...
ady nt interest le....
lost the interest on IT LE...
haha....
so end UP from today...
END it LE....EVERYTHING....

sad lo.....

really sad n kecewa with my result....
1st time result sai like this lo....
jz let me continue sad with all tis few weeks ba...
i really dunno is it worth or nt???
my parent ady keep complain y my result will like this lo....
haiz...
bang wall le...

wat happen to me leh???
i also dunno...
really need work hard lo...if continue like this....
i sure cant tahan myself le...
result keep dropping....
drop until......

....sob sob....

problem...

sing k with u guys...
bt nt really enjoy it lo...
isn't because i long time din join u all...
i feel i lost in the group...
dunno y....
is the "friendship" change??
or is me???

not even dare to gt an answer....
pretend i din feel anything mayb is a best way....
i learn to dun care anything le...
the topics among u guys many i ady dunno le...
din updated myself with u guys...

mayb i jz care to do my own things....
this is the only reason i use to cheat myself....

bt wat i can say is i really change not to so care about the friendship....
maybe the next second...i will choose to forget the memory tat had gone through with friends b4....
sth make me choose to be cruel...

i really nt in the mood wan go out and enjoy...
i prefer to stay at home alone...
even i do nth....think nth...and talk nth...
u asked me what had make me like this...
i cant gv u an answer....
u ask me can i tahan or nt if no1 talk with me...
i can say....dis is a normal thing le....

maybe this jz a feeling in this moment only...
hope i will be fine soooooonnnn.......